quarrel

aih i ned to confess that i throw tantrum at my boss today...it went well in the morning when i get to work. but once i arrived, i seems like lost control.... i gave him a good look in the eye....

oopss i think both of us sense something burning....

well, Pn tried to start a conversation...i duno y suddenly i feel like keeping quite
well its in the morning, where i usually dun talk much...and i think keep quite its the best, bcoz i know something will go wrong once i start talking...so silence is the best bet......

haih...there is a sense of tense......i can feel it, i think more obvious Pn can feel it la.....
hmn JM promised that things will not be like this, but it still happens..... haih....
yes there is an explanation on why this thing happens....but i am really upset...... i feel very lost...
i dun even know the state of the system now.... which never happens to my development attachment, dun talk about hand over by another people and i need to do support...that one i truly not my cup of tea.....

sorry lo if things does stack up, newly get to know me people usually doesn't understand
it takes a very long time to know my way of doing things..... i dun mind to admit
i am a perfectionist..... which i think most of the August babies are! u can disagree, but i meet alot! i dare to conclude

it was lunch time, i feel so hungry, bcoz i step foot into work 9.15am
off we went to have lunch, and i think something bad happened..........

the much effort to avoid conversation started!
OMG! i think i wandered off very far from the limit this time! yes i wan to confess, i did....
kesian Pn kena teruk..... bombarded with alot of complain.....

its been a while i never acted such way.... how come ar? it still happens.....after dormant for such long time....

personally, i think, i can't accept serious deal at such short notice, unless its emergency which i am well prepared mentally!

off went the complain
1. last minute prod notice which makes people's life hard
2. things not secure, but yet still goin to take the plunge!
3. i didn't had my dinner, if you would jz tell me earlier, i would have cancel my appointment and i think everyone will at least be contented(is tis the right word?)
4.this thing might happen another time when people taste tis is not an issue on the first attempt
5. ask me to tune SQL such last minute when my brain had shutdown will only result in you getting angry and annoyed. eh gila har??? 2 million records one click.....go bek home sleep first la, later only think.

hmn....people always say its like tis, its norm
i always have optimistic view on this issue, things can be better if we really try hard!
this problem is a norm, is bcoz we give in, surrender and let ourself sinkl into the problem. and it bcome norm in the end....i wan a change! at least try

sorry KW i left u waiting at the LRT at wee hours for 30mins the other day! my bad!

Pn try to cut off the conversation, by avoiding further discussion, yes... i was oso trying to initiate that, i know i kenot handle it anymore....so silence is the best defence

Pn buy us lunch.... i duno is it he really wanted to buy, or bcoz something not so happy set off just now..... frankly speaking, buying me lunch is not a good idea if u want to make me ease

the best is, jz listen, and i will try to forget......... how long? hmn not as long as last time when i was young..... but har....its quite strange la in the aftermath! i still feel the same till today.... aftermath.... not nice!

i know u will say, how come i talk like tis to Pn.........
i confess lo...... i really duno...... maybe i jz want an ear....jz happen, he came so near! ish bad timing! i think i am gila abit sometime


sorry........things will be better in the future..... i am trying hard! believe me....if u know me well, u will agree that i have been through a great distance to be a better person as what you see me as today.... i am trying still n i dun mind to tell you.... i am improving and please have faith in me... i am developing, and i want a difference.... its quite an improvement, but its not a reason to stop here!


ps : Pn.....u r very nice person....understanding and pls have some patient dealing with me. i am sorry! deeply sorry for wat had happen, jz that i can't utter those words... i dun like to aftermath
i know u pissed off..... dun give a fuss over your wet pants :P sorry! haih i have a bad day after that! i feel so regretted as always